Monday, April 4, 2011

Boys vs Girls?

With Easter just around the corner I realize that I needed to go out clothing shopping for my boys. The last time I bought them nice clothes last year for Dads funeral and wouldn’t ya know........not a one of them fit. So off to JC Penny’s I go (only place that sells slims) looking around the racks I started to understand something.........Us boy Mom’s got SCREWED! We get slacks (brown or black), dress shirt (fanciest you can get has stripes), black dress shoes, and a tie. Shopping’s done in oh 60 seconds max............But if you have a reason to walk across the isle into the pink fairy land you get fluffy dresses in every fabric and color of the rainbow, every style and color of shoe you can think of, gloves, handbags, hair accessories, frilly socks. It hardly seems fair that just because we have boys we should walk through the grim reapers living room to find something suitable for our boys to wear. All the while a magical unicorn has shit rainbows and cotton candy in the girl section. You will now realize this the next time you shop at Penny’s. I’m sure the girl moms have their own take on this but I will never fully understand because I have belching, farting, crop dusting little heathens!
The battle of "Boys vs Girls" has been around for centuries. I don’t see where any girl mom should complain about their angels until they hit that point in life where they are wielding a hot curling iron towards their sister. I think that’s the same time they realize how smart and grown up they are and we are just the dumb drooling zombies that fund "their" lives. That part is consistent for both genders.
All my friends and family had girls so my sons have had their share of hair bow attacks and makeup applied while sleeping. They can pretend but I know they enjoyed it! My boys are still in the faze of dressing up in my clothes and shoes and they think its hilarious but don’t realize their scaring the shit out of their Dad.......and I find that hilarious.
So weighing the options of what’s harder Boys or Girls depends on ones experience. My son was doing chin ups on his closet bar as a one year old. Shortly there after he broke his arm. He could ride his bike without training wheels at two, so by the time he was three and a half he was racing BMX. Shortly after that he knocked all his front teeth out and needed stitches. He is the perfect example of an overly physical boy, and his brother was three years behind him. At two he managed to climb the ladder on our camper. Standing on the top doing pelvic thrusts we laughed and took pictures. Once he was down the laughing stopped!
My girlfriend (we were pregnant together both times) had girls. As I tried to bungee cord my child down I noticed her daughter was beautiful, well mannered, and sweet. As a one year old she could talk in full sentences. At four years old she was so articulate and was a fluent reader. She never let out loud bodily noises and no ER trips for her! I wanted to take her home and claim her as my own, but honestly the idea of girls scares me. It’s the uncharted water in my world.
Maybe it’s the brunets want to be blondes and blondes want to be brunets thing. Each one looks at the other seeing the greener grass and wondering about the other side. And then some kids make us look at our own with great pride, and appreciation! While the walls fall down around us and we sift through the medical bills its easy to get caught up in the negative aspect of things. But just as I have had my fill, my boys walk in with a heartfelt homemade card and a snack. And now I have to go clean up the mess in the kitchen!

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