Saturday, April 2, 2011

Occupational hazard!

As a mother 99% of the stories I tell have to do with my children. I understand this is frustrating to all the people who do not have kids, as they see them as little aliens with snot and other bodily fluids running out of every crevice. But through the years I’ve found that these little creatures are an amazing source of entertainment. Whether they are unintentionally making you laugh, or your torturing them just for fun its always interesting. Any care giver will tell you how perplexing it is to see the insanely large mess such a small being can create. The amount of work required to parent a child is astronomical. Which got me thinking, I was sitting in the doctors office the other day filling out a mountain of paper work when I came to the insurance section. And there it was staring at me, taunting me, the one word question I absolutely hate!!! OCCUPATION? There is no way to answer this question on a line that’s no longer than a matchbox car. So what formal title.......... homemaker? Stay at home mom? None of these terms quantify our actual job. If I were to fill out a resume right now I could probably score a job with the secret service, or if nothing else run an insane asylum blindfolded. The most obvious roles a parent tackles would be child care and development, janitorial services, short order cook, and a chauffeur. But if you look a little deeper my experience goes much farther than that. I've dabbled in environmental clean up when both my boys had the stomach flu. And when there’s only one ice-cream bar left in the freezer you can see I’m a pro in politics. I was an EMT, and Er nurse when my son cut his finger off. At some point your gonna be a therapist, and probably a psychologist. I'm a wireless polygraph specialist. And if your kids are anything like mine most Saturdays and part of Sunday will be spent as a warden, waiting for the inmates to clean their cells. We're coaches, and cheerleaders. Singers and story tellers. And even though we will never admit it were the best damn pathological liars you will ever meet. Two words....tooth.....fairy!!! But at the end of the day its my boys that give credit to my occupation with a simple I love you mom. Its been the hardest job title I’ve ever earned. The hours are long, the workload is crazy, and the bosses are demanding, but the pay is great!

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